Monday, April 05, 2010 old friend that gave me a new life.

natalie, i want to write this to you. what i really want to do is see you and hug you but because distance keeps me here, and you there, i feel like the closest thing to that is a hug through words. though my words wont be nearly as beautiful as yours, i still have to tell you...

you have changed my life.

you have changed a lot of lives.

since i heard of your terrible loss, one that i cannot even comprehend, i have been thinking of you, crying for you, and praying hard for you.

when i heard, i had just given birth to my third baby. EVERY time i looked at her, i cried. i cried for you. i thought about you. when i would cradle her, my thoughts would carry me to your world of unimaginable sorrow and heartbreak for your loss of the same exact, and very real gift i was embracing, and i would weep. a lot.

from then, to now, and forever on, you have been the source of my new me.
your unwavering faith,
your courageous strength,
your sincere and open honesty...
i don't understand.

you have slowed my whole world down. you have highlighted the important from the not important. you have given me a perspective. when my crazy life gets crazier, i am able to look at myself from the outside looking in. a new and ever changing perspective. when im wrapped up in baby poop and my other 2 kids are goin at it, and the stove is on with food overflowing, and burning, and its sets the fire alarm off and the scene gets even more ridiculous...i smile...cause i would laugh if i saw it on tv...if it wasn't me...if i was outside looking in.

there are those monumental moments in life that you will never forget...that change you forever. natalie...i veiw you as a convert veiws that humble and faithful servant of the Lord...that young but fresh and powerful spirit who couageously knocked, and taught, and changed a life forever. a generation forever.

i thank my Heavenly Father every night for knowing you, for being friends wih you. and in the very same breath...i pray for you. i pray for peace, comfort, strength. i pray that He will be there for you in your very dark and lonely moments, that something, someone, some thought, will grab you and hold on to you. and that leads me to pray for myself. that if ever i am the one, or the source, that Heavenly Father needs, to comfort or be there for someone in need...i will listen, and act.

i love you natalie. i think about you everyday. i read about you everyday. and i pray for you everyday.

all i can

Natalie is a treasured friend from High School. This is her website. Please will be lifted.


Natalie. said...

I love you farrah.

Jamie said...

She really is an amazing person...thanks Farrah.

Laci and the Girls said...

I have followed her journey through her blog and watched the amazing slideshow yesterday. She really is an amazing woman. And, so are you!! xoxoLaci

Rachel said...

man o man, i am in tears. you took the words right out of a lot of peoples mouth. love you farrah.

Arden said...

farrs, I am crying hard. In your life special people will touch you and you will be able to learn from them and in turn others will learn from you. I am constantly learning in this life. I love you and what you learned. mom