Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Pure sweet sweet JOY...

From birth to ONE!

Well, when someone says, 'geez, she seems like a mellow, happy child.' I say, 'SHE IS!'

I can't even begin to describe the amount of joy this little perfect bundle brings to our small family. She IS the definition of JOY. She has been the best little baby ever. She started sleeping through the night, well more than 'through the night' at 6 weeks. She would sleep for TWELVE hours!! And still does! She wakes up happy. Plays happy. Eats happy. Sleeps happy. She is the happiest little individual on this living Earth right now. She smiles all day. Literally.

My favorite part of the day is getting her out of her crib. She gives me the sweetest little loves, rests her little head on my shoulder, for a good 30 seconds AT LEAST, and then whips her head around to look at me with a big huge grin.

Her dad, well, he is smitten by this child. I can't tell you how many times he and I look at each other while she just crawls around at our feet and say...' she ours?!' This little girl, just like our other little girl, has daddy wrapped right around her pudgy little finger. The way he looks at her, plays with her, takes care of her, is priceless. It was love at first sight, and it continues to just GROW.

For me, well, I think her cheeks are swollen every night I lay her down to sleep from all the kisses I maul her with through out the day. For real. She is the most loveable, kissable, adorable blessing! All I can say is God knew what he was doing sending her to us.

The first 2 children I had it was like clockwork...4 weeks hit and they WOKE they say. They were say the least. So, I was really anxious when about 2 weeks after having Mayci...she seemed to be 'waking up'...ALREADY! She had colic. No doubt. She screamed and cried anytime her eyes were open, but her really really bad time was from 8pm to literally 3am...non stop scream. Shawn and I tried everything, and finally we resorted to switching off. Some nights I would start with her and he would end with her, and vice versa.

I specifically remember, and cant count how many times I held her during this time and thought of my friend Natalie. I had been told almost exactly when Mayci was 2 weeks old and started colic that Natalie had lost her baby to pertussis. Every time I held Mayci, I thought of her. I cried. A lot. And as difficult as that time was for me and Shawn...the sleepless nights, the endless hours of what seemed like a tortured child...I knew it was nothing compared. So, in thought of Natalie, during those difficult, late night hours, I held my baby close and appreciated and cherished like never before every crying moment I had with her, as I knew Natalie would have done and would have wanted me to do. Natalie gave me that perspective then, and I still carry it with me now. What would Nat do?

So to Natalie. Thank you.

I also remember thinking during that time...'well, this must be it. God wants me to stop having children. I must not be a good mother.' Whether it was the hormones, or the exhaustion...those were real thoughts. And I was so sad. I really didn't want to stop, but I knew that having another very difficult baby would take a lot out of me. I had resided to that decision, and started beating myself up. I thought it was a message sent from above that I am not competant enough for more kids. How many mothers that have colic babies think this? Probably none...but to my credit, my other 2 kids were really difficult babies. So, for one reason or another, I thought this.

Almost immediately after I had these thoughts, one night, I put her in the swing. The same swing Shawn and I tried to use over and over and over again...with no avail. But this time...she slept...during her miserable hours. I remember so well exactly what I was doing. I was working, on our kitchen table, sealing envelopes and addressing envelopes... And peeking at her every 5 minutes waiting for her to wail. But she didnt. She slept. One am rolled around and she was still sleeping, so I layed on the couch and fell asleep while Shawn went up to bed. He said he would stay up with her, but I made myself a bed on the couch, and fell asleep. She woke at 3am. I took her upstairs, fed her, layed her in her bed, and she slept till 10am. WHAT!

Since that night and up to this day, she has been the best sleeper, eater, baby ever! I remember thinking shortly after her schedule changed for the better that maybe Im not done having babies. I thanked my Heavenly Father that night, and every night, for trusting me and believing in me with his precious perfect little angels. I couldn't ask for anything more.

I love you Mayci. I love you so so so so much...its dangerous.

Happy FIRST!


Laci said...

Happy Birthday Mayci Jo!!! I can't believe it's gone so fast and I remember those struggles you were having. Strange how life happens and we're saved just when we need it huh?! She really is the best little thing out there!! And's time to get another one here! :) Yipee! Love you Mayci JoJo!!

Becca said...

not even lying right now, rach and i were just talking about your little mayci. i told her "i crave mayci" i really do. i want to squeeze her and hold her all day!!! she is so cute farr, you made me shed a tear, as usual. love you mayci, love me too forever ok?

Rachel said...

man o man. Farrah, she really is special. I love your new perspective. What a blessing. Really. I can relate. Mayci is a blessing to us all. I love her... and your other two. Can't wait to see your others waiting in heaven :) (by the way... I think God was telling me something after I had lennon... sure didn't listen!!)

Love you.

Arden said...

Farrs, You have a way with words. Melinda keeps writing me mean emails and I dread the internet sometimes so I thought I would stop by to see if anything changed on the blogs. Your Mayci is everything you say she is and now you know why I had so many children. You were Mayci and still are. I sure love your kids and feel a closeness that is precious. thank you for sharing and being you. I love you. Mom

Jamie said...

Great post Farrs. I can (at this very moment, holding Grayson) definitely relate to those late nights...and long hours of crying! I have made it through this time by thinking of what Rachel has gone through and how lucky I am to have this little angel in my life. You're awesome and I love you! And happy birthday to that sweetie cheeks. I just love those kids of yours!!