Brazil

The best part about my trip to Brazil was being able to spend some time with one of my best friends Raf. It was SO good to see him. He holds a special place in my family's heart. Raf is truly the most genuine, sincere person I know. He loves my family and we love him. I met his wonderful girlfriend "JuJu" who has a heart of gold just like Raf. We spent my birthday together and he took me to a bunch of different beaches and other sights in Rio.


This is a picture of Raf and I near "Favela Rocinha". This is the largest "shanty town" in all of Brazil. Raf had never been as close as we got to take this picture.

Raf and "JuJu"
I ate "Acai" every day except one. It was great!!!!
A nice surf spot we traveled to in Rio.
We all know the song...Copacabana.
On Thursday we traveled to Saquarema which is about an hours drive from Brazil. It is the home of the Brazilian National Volleyball Team. I have never seen miles and miles of white sand beaches and blue waters. No wonder they are so good at volleyball...who wouldn't want to train in this town.

This picture is directly across the street from their training facility. There is no end to this beach and the only people you see are about every mile or so.
Notice the beach courts on the right which is their facility. Practice and then a nice swim at the beach.
Next generation of Brazil athletes.
This is their trophy room which was pretty cool. Looks like I am about to run with the trophy.
Entrance to the main administration offices. Both walls were full of their awards.
We had to park outside and walk in. This is their training center strictly for volleyball. Town is about 10 minutes away. They have dorms, dining hall, laundry, pool, game room, weight training center, 4 indoor courts, 4 beach courts, a pond where they fish for sun, etc...pretty nice center.
Different beach on military base where Rexona trains.
I got to watch the Rexona professional team practice before they headed off to their semi-final match in Sao Paolo. For volleyball enthusiasts, this is Bernardinho's team. I don't think they would have cared if I took pictures but I just played it safe.
This is my view of "Corcovado" from my hotel room window.
Rodrigo took us up to the top. Pictured is Rodrigo on right and his best friend Igor on the left. Behind us are Ipanema/Copacabana beaches
Corcovado

Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said...

BRONCHIOLITIS! Poor Ev is so sick. I took him in on Friday and the doctor said good thing I took him in. He just barely finished antibiotics for bronchitis and about 1 week later he began wheezing again. The doctor is concerned he may have some kind of asthma. He prescribed him an inhaler. The first time I used it on him was in the doc's office and Evan was not a fan. He screamed and cried the entire time, but he was a champ and didn't wiggle too much as I was holding him. We brought it home and every time we had to use it, he broke my heart. He loved switching the machine OFF, but wouldn't come near it to switch it on. After using it a few times, I decided to let him hold it. He did MUCH BETTER holding it on himself. What a sweetheart. Well, only to make things worse...the last 2 times I have used it he has had a horrible allergic reaction to it. He gets bright red with a high fever, very fast heart rate, super shaky, swollen eyes, and totally miserable. We are done using it...it scared me to death to see him like that. There really is nothing worse than seeing your kids sick. It totally breaks my heart. I take him in tomorrow for a follow up. Even when my little Ev is sick, he remains as sweet as ever. I love him with my whole heart! I had Shawn take a few shots of Evan being a big boy holding the inhaler all by himself. Too cute and sad all at the same time.

Shake yo BOOTAY!

Here is probably the cutest and funniest video of Rae shakin' it.
Check it out. It also captures the sweetest little voice. Oh how I miss those precious sweet little vocal chords...and oh how they change over the years! I LOVE THAT GIRL!!!

What is your soul?

In church last week, I learned of my soul and what exactly it is. I may be naive or just dumb, but I've never fully understood or took much interest in the concept...until now. It is the joint that attaches your physical body to your spirit. Why does that matter? Well, it matters in my life and I've never really known that that was what is affected when I'm not taking very good care of my spirit or my body. There are those times when I start getting easily irritated or discouraged or upset or whatever, and I always stop and think...'why'. Well, I begin to answer it with...have you been to the temple lately? The answer is usually no. Have I been reading daily? no. Have I been regularly communicating with Heavenly Father? no. Is this PMS? mmm, maybe:) ha ha:) On and on and on. And then on the physical side of things...am I exercising regularly? no. Eating right? Yes (cause I always make sure I get my food if you know me well enough:). Anyhow, I just thought it was very interesting to discover that as I neglect both my body and my spirit...it's my soul that is being affected...getting irritated. Anyhow, I have found myself asking these questions and sure enough...the answers are no! So, with the new year, I am going to begin to nourish my SOUL! So deep, huh:) I am officially beginning today. As I sit and organize my thoughts here, I am beginning to come up with a few goals for myself...and I'll write those down in my journal so as not to bore you with them. But just one more little thought. I am soooo grateful to have the things I find myself complaining about too often. Gosh, what a rough life...I have all these boxes full of crap and I don't know where to start its so overwhelming cause i have all this space now and I don't know how to organize it all in the most practical way...DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF...are you really complaining! Atleast you even have things to put in your house and most of all...atleast you have a house! And gosh, my kids always fight with eachother but...ATLEAST they are healthy and safe and strong and love ME unconditionally and do occasionally have their sweet times together. And my husband is never here and when he is he's not (and I know you all know what that means:)...but gosh...ATLEAST he has a steady job that is not in threat with this horrible economy! And all the housework...gosh where do I even start...ATLEAST I have housework, clothes to be able to wash and wear, dishes to be able to eat out of, toilets to be able to ... well ... you know...what a rough rough life! And more, of course. I need to look at these things with this perspective...and remember all those out there who have real things to complain about...starvation, homelessness, loneliness, abuse, neglect, filth, disease, and more. My life is SOOOO easy in perspective, and that's all I need....perspective! So, here are some pictures of my beautiful, healthy, smart, energetic, and silly kids (don't mind their nakedness and vulgarity:) And I also put up some pictures of our awesome new home. ENJOY...because I DO!

Sneak peek...

i guess i should stop publishing about my bad days. no point to it, other than to concern a lot of people and feel really stupid, cause really, it was just a bad day. it must have sounded really terrible so i apologize and i promise you can count on reading the good side of farrah from now on! anyhow, on a more positive note, my house is coming together...and i love it. good ol' Rach came over and got me inspired and now...i can't stop. i am having so much fun making my house mine. Raegan is getting a kick out of it too. She keeps grabbing pictures and holding them up on a random wall saying 'mom...i really think this looks good here.' its pretty cute. thanks rach for pulling me out of my rut! it was really fun to have you here and more fun to see that dang cute KID of yours, wow, what a charmer...really. i love that boy and miss his boulder (head:). its really funny how sisters can be soooo alike yet soooo different. as we were putting things up, thats when i noticed how DIFFERENT we are. rachel just grabs a picture, nail, and hammer and hangs it up. i grab the measuring tape, pencil, and leveler, make sure it's coordinates are centered, draw a little line, measure the distance, then carefully insert the nail...what a wacko i am! it just outlines our personalities perfectly, and although she may disagree, i think it does. rachel is, and has always been, so outgoing, loud, witty, and dangerous...and then there is me...reserved, shy, quiet, careful, particular, and SO not funny. anyway, not sure where that came from, but i just think its really interesting, but thats probably why we are best friends. LOVE YOU RACH!

The picture doesn't give the color justice but I thought I would see what it looked like. Anyway, that's just a corner of our living room that is getting filled up with something other than boxes!

I hate when Shawn is right...

i guess shawn was right...i've been getting texts and emails and calls from people with concern. i promise i'm good. i apologize if you are the recipient or victim of hearing all the good AND bad that goes on in my little life:) i think i've discovered that i get post-cali depression. we had such an awesome time in california over christmas. the weather was BEAUTIFUL, with the exception of only a few days of scattered rain. other than that, we took a lovely stroll to the beach every morning with the kids, then returned later to play in the sand, feel the freezing cold ocean on our toes, build sand castles, watch the birds and dodge their droppings, and enjoyed the magical sunsets. aside from the beach, we saw a bunch of movies, in the theaters as well as in the cozy living room. i found a new love for STEAMED MILK with HAZELNUT (thanks to Heather) from the corner coffee shop. we had an awesome time at the zoo. we went on a perfect day with perfect weather. the kids were in heaven. we took a train ride there and thats all they talk about. mochi, of course, was a delight, as well as trudy's homemade lasagna. most of all we loved the company. grandpa trudy and grandma trudy, heather, cole, briON, carlina, and anyone else i may have left out. thanks so much everyone!
of all the holidays, thanksgiving might be my favorite...especially when my mama is cookin'. she is simply amazing when it comes to cooking and hosting and making people very happy. she did it all, for like 50 people. it was better than ever and i hope someday, when i have to make my own thanksgiving dinner, it comes close to hers (fat chance, i have to call her to figure out how to make chicken noodle soup...pathetic). from thanksgiving to christmas, we purchased a home, packed up, moved in (with the grateful help of my hilarious brother, jake, his wife jamie who took all the kids for the day, my paps who was like a running engine that couldn't idle for longer than 10 seconds, rach and b of course...always willing to help out, chad and angie took the kids while i packed, and my mom provided us all with some delicious banana bread during the hustle and bustle), unpacked mostly, packed again for cali with christmas, and made the journey...12 hours straight. it was worth it, of course, but i will admit that i despise that drive! anyhow, i posted a bunch of pics and ill call it a catch up and pat myself on the back. thanks for tuning in:)

No Worries

(just some random, fun pics)

So Shawn read the post I made last night and said if other people read it they may think I'm going to do some kind of danger to myself so I decided I might want to inform anyone who viewed my blog as of yesterday....NO WORRIES. Just one of those moments, ya know. SO, I went to Home Depot to buy paint...and perhaps because of my mood and the lack of sunshine and outside fun, I got yEllOw pAinT for my living room and family room, and I painted them....yellow! What the heck. I have been in some weird funk not being able to decide what colors to put on my walls (yellow never crossed my mind until I was in my car on my way to pick it out), how to rearrange my furniture, how to organize all the toys, ect. I've always felt like I'm a pretty good organizer but I find myself just staring into rooms full of clutter and unpacked boxes not knowing where to start and what to put where. So...I started. I painted one coat last night and I was up until about 1:30am. Hopefully I can get the second coat on tonight and get some things up on my walls. I actually LOVE the color and think it will look awesome with our stuff. I'll post pics once I'm done.

By the way, since I haven't posted since we moved...we moved for all those who didn't know. We are in Spanish Fork and love our new home. Our ward is great so far...175 kids in the nursery! WHAT! ...plenty of little freinds for Rae and Evan...and what's even better is Rae goes to primary ALL BY HERSELF and loves it and Evan has no problem peacing out to nursery (that means I get a little bored in Sunday School without a child crawling all over me). We live right across the new elementary, literally. People that have come over are shocked when they see the crosswalk of the school leads right into my front yard...SO COOL! Parks all around, one right around the corner as well as the school one. Minutes from the canyon and a 12-15 min drive to see DAD. We love it:)

Cant stand it any longer...

So I have time to view others blogs very quickly every so often, but i don't know what the deal is lately. I feel swamped...in fact, lets be honest, I feel like I'm ready to EXPLODE! I called my sister Rachel today as I was on my way to Home Depot by myself tonight and told her I feel like there is a bomb inside of me just waiting to go off...so I took off and left Shawn home with the kids while I got some fresh air, ALL BY MYSELF. Anybody else ever feel sooooo overwhelmed that you just want to rip someone's hair out?! Well, I guess I'm psycho. Anyway, every time I get onto my blog and see that really ugly picture of that cathedral, I want to throw up. So I decided I would at least write a little something and give a little hope to all those faithful and diligent viewers...please stay with me! I promise I will have quite the update before this week is over...so come back, mmmmK! I need to go now and tape so I can paint my white walls some other color before I go crazy. I feel like I really am insane and stuck in an insane assylum:)

So I thought it would kind of be cool to copy other people and enlarge some phrases above, and if you noticed all the ones I enlarged you should really feel sorry for me because I feel sorry for me:) What a negative pessemistic person I am right now. If you want to feel blue and depressed just read the above passage:( Sorry. Well, atleast it's not as ugly as that picture of the cathedral...and there I go again...I just better go now.

Invisible Mother

So, my good friend from high school sent this 'poem' to me, and as I read...I cried. This poem says every thing I have been trying to say for so long. I stumbled along trying to express my feelings awhile back in a post...ya know...the one I'm sure most of you told yourselves after reading it...'wow, I can't believe she wrote that for the public to view', but I wish I had never written it now. I wish I had just posted this poem and t0ld you all I wrote it:) It's beautiful...and its for all the moms out there who have been a mom to me or a mom with me. I love you all!


It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to somewhere. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Can I have some money?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' or I'm a car to order, 'Right around 8:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated college- but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. Initially I had thought, oh she remembered I wanted to travel this year. Until I read her inscription: "With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no button you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

A t times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the girlfriend he's bringing home for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies', that would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to bring his friends home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.