Priorities...

I love the smile this baby girls puts on my not-so-smiley-all-the-time Rae:)

 

Experimenting with bows.  I think she is too scrumptious with them on!!

Nothing Sweeter.

 

Wesly LOVES her big sis.  Loves.  This completely melts me...for all sorts of reasons.

Ok...maybe this one melts me even more...and mostly when I see Raegans look of love.
Frog in the throat:)

We got to replace dad for "Cool guys and Cookies" and eat lunch with Evan at school.    We were lucky enough so sit with his best little buddy too.

A sweet surprise visit from cousin Izzy.  I love this girl.  So much.

Im always there in every picture, just not in every picture:)  Got to be in front of the lens in this one....
Id prefer to be behind.
Its nice, though, to have proof that I did exist when all these pictures were taken.

I heard once from someone that was sick of hearing people say, "I wish there were more hours in a day..." and I can't remember exactly what the annoyed reply was to that statement, but it went something like this:

It isn't that you don't have enough hours in the day...its more what you choose to do with those hours in the day.  

Because I could complain that I didn't have enough time to clean my bathrooms today...

but...clearly I did.  

Instead, I chose to write this novel.  Which has clearly taken time.  

I could complain that I wasn't able to put the heaping loads of folded laundry away...

but...clearly I did.  

Instead I chose to chill on the couch for an hour once the general clean-up was done and kids were asleep.

It goes on.

Priorities.

Down to the millisecond of each day.

Down to the decision of whether to do make-up or hair first? (hair wins first place because you can look half decent if you can get your hair done but can't get to the make-up:)

Or whether to chop the veggies or cook the sausage first? (chop the veggies wins first because u can add cooked sausage anytime-in case the baby wakes up:))

Prioirities.

They are so evident when you have babies around.  And thats why I love my babies SO much.

They are my priority, but they also remind me to keep my priorities in check!

And Im so happy my number one priority today was Evan...and having lunch with him today.  It was amazing!  Because he is amazing!! 

My younger self

No pics here, just some words of advise for my kiddos.  Im not really sure where my constant reflection is coming from, but I think.  A LOT!  And over the past several months, and especially after I had Wesly, I think back to my 20 year old to 25 year old self and sometimes wanna smack myself out of it.  I was having a conversation with a sister-in-law recently, and I said, 'I sure hope my experience in California will maybe benefit one of my own kids one day...of what NOT to do!  Although many really GOOD things came out of that experience, I wish I would have done a lot of things differently.  

I would advise not to move to a different state without having a place to move into...3 weeks after having your FIRST baby.  Maybe there is a better option:)  

I would advise you to take the car that someone offers you, FOR FREE, as long as you can take and pick up her kids from school.  WHAT?! I was so concerned about Raegans naps (that typical new mom syndrome) that I turned that down.  I get a pit in my stomach just writing about it.  That lady probably thought I was such a moron!  Unfortunately, I was.  

I would tell you to reach out for help...there is no shame in that.  

I would tell you to LIVE there.  Really live there.  Get a full experience. 

 Like I said, some good did come from that one year of my life that I really feel was a major life learning experience. 

 I would encourage you to drive the 2 hours to your in-laws as much as you can to build a lasting relationship with them.  I would also make sure you are cleaning the sheets (my old self didn't) and thank them intensely (I hope my old self did this) for always opening their doors to you and making you feel right at home.  

And California isn't the only experience I have reflected on lately.  I remember clear as day sitting in Laci's kitchen, pregnant with Raegan, brewing up a mate...all the while Laci is bustling around the house huffing and puffing getting all her little ones ready for school.  She knelt in front of me with one of her girls as she struggled to get her little shoe on her foot, and I looked down and said this:

"Gosh, you haven't even eaten breakfast yet...huh?!"

And she replied with a simple..."Nope."

CAN I HIT MY OLD SELF!

What is wrong or what was wrong with me?!

I didn't get it.  I really didn't.  And now that I have 4, and I find myself bustling around in the morning, if my stupid sister-in-law was feeding her face and brewing up a mate without an offer to help...

I might hit her!

I hit myself for you Laci:) And Im sure Laci doesn't remember that exact moment in time...but I sure hope later that day she told Brian what a flipping moron I was.  

Deserved.

Guilty.

I really could go on for days, but like I always say to myself when I want to HIT my old self...

...is...

...that's what life is all about.  Right?!  

Experience...Good OR Bad.

And Im really not beating myself up, more just reflecting on how much I have changed since having kids plus tacking on a few more years of experiences.  I am so not perfect now and I often wonder...  

 What will my 50 year old self think about my 32 year old self??

YIKES!!

 I'm almost quite certain as I sit here and write this now, that even if someone TOLD me...DONT do this...DONT do that...

Im pretty stubborn and I may have done just what I did anyway.  Which then gives me anxiety already to think that some day, I am going to have to sit back and watch my OWN kids make stupid decisions, and make mistakes...and maybe ones that are very similar to my own youthful mistakes.  But now I know better...and I know from experience...so please listen to me! 

 HOW FRUSTRATING!  

I guess thats why it is so so very important to build that trust now. 

That relationship now.

No matter what it takes.  

And again,

I am given perspective of whats important.

And that, I am grateful for. 

So Ill keep reflecting:)

And maybe I can continue to refine my perspective.

Family.

Relationships.

Last but certainly not least...Experience.

Sweet Genius.

Please notice what Evan wanted to add to the list of groceries.  I got a good laugh outta that one.  If you don't spot it right away, it is under the "need" column.  Last item on the list.  HA!!

Evan.  These pictures are for you.  They are proof that although some thought Santa was confused when he brought YOU the kitchen for Christmas, I never found it unusual.  You have had a real passion for the kitchen and everything in it since you could hold a spoon.  Seriously.  Santa knows you well!!

In fact, here I am nurturing that passion.  Giving you all the items you need (everything except your imagination, because you have a HUGE one of those) to make your "Chocolate peanut butter bars".

Then you began reading through the ingredients.  You even read the word 'ingredients'...which made me chuckle.  As a mighty big kindergartner, that word really shouldn't flow so easily from your little mouth...but as I stated...you are the next Sweet Genius!!

And then I sat back and watched in pure joy,
and excitement...
thinking maybe its possible
if I keep nourishing this passion,
I will find myself sitting back and watching you...
really baking...
dinner...
...or dessert
for the family:)

On with the glove and into the oven it goes.  Can't wait to partake!!

Waiting with smiles as we smell the peanut butter and chocolate forming into small cookie bars)

Out they come.  Don't they look delicious?!

They smell even better!!

So there ya have it Ev...PROOF!  That I am, and always will be, your #1 fan.  Even if its cheering you on in the kitchen.  I love you so much bud.
You are so unique in so many ways...
PLEASE stay that way.
Please.

I lOVE THREE!!!

I truly LOVE age 3!!  With the exception of her unbelievably ear piercing shriek, everything this gal does is cute.  She is so full of personality.  The way she puckers her lips when she talks makes me want to suck them off her face.  Her little voice and the way she talks...I wish I could freeze that and keep it forever.
Look at that sweet little button face.  It truly makes my heart flutter to look at that picture. 

I am SO grateful child number 2 and now child number 3 can totally and completely entertain themselves.  I say that because child number 1 requires a circus at all times or she is SO BORED!  Its amazing how different they are.  It makes me so happy to see her P.L.A.Y.  

"How old are you Mayci??"
"Ine FREE!"
And please, her new favorite treasures...
the princess slippers.
Love them. So much.  Except when she slips them on first thing in the morning and clomps around the house at 7:30am...

She loves them.  So much so that she insisted on wearing them to bed.  And she really fell asleep with them on.  She cracks me up.

Did I mention how much I LOVE watching her play.
Talk to herself.
Set up her toys.
And PLAY.
It truly is my favorite:)

And this is what we do when Mayci asks for funny faces.  After taking the pictures with her and reviewing them, I noticed this shot.  I love her giggly face as she watches me make a fool of myself.

I asked for a happy face, and this is what I got.  She insists on the funny faces:)

I love spending every morning with this little girl.  We have a good 2-3 hours while Wesly naps.  Just us, and she is happy to help me load and fold laundry.  Load breakfast dishes.  Wipe down counters and tables.  Loves helping me make my bed.  Vacuum.   But most of all, she loves playing.  Quietly, with no older siblings teasing her.  And she has me all.to.herself.  I now know why my kids are spaced the way they are.

Once they reach this age, I find myself thinking this can't be my last 3 year old.

I need a 3 year old forever.

And thankfully she isn't my last 3 year old...Ive got another that will be playing with train sets in princess slippers in no time:)  Makes me happy.